What Not To Write: 5 Catalog Copywriting Mistakes

Maybe you're taking a crack at writing some catalog copy for the first time. Or maybe it's your 15th season at a major mail order house and you're looking for a refresh. Either way, here are 5 things to avoid when writing your catalog copy.

1. Not getting the facts right.
It's going to be hard to sell someone a car if you can't tell them how many miles per gallon it gets. But even worse than not knowing the MPG would be telling someone the wrong MPG. Getting your product information right the first time can be a challenge, especially if you're selling items from overseas vendors who don't know the exact specs themselves, but doing your homework early in the game will save you and your company tons of time and money down the road.

I know that some of you will say that if the merchandiser or product database has the incorrect information, then that isn't really a copywriting mistake. I'll agree that 30% of the time you are looking at some fact that you wouldn't know was wrong, but 70% of the time if you feel like a stat is wrong, it probably is. Try asking questions about product specs that are out of line with your expectations. Have your product information team verify things that seem wrong or conflict with other sources with their sales rep.

2. Jargon.
I'm a college-educated English major, and I don't understand sailing terminology. Likewise, if your catalog copy contains tons of technical details that your audience isn't going to be able to make sense of, you'll need to eliminate all that heady language in favor of some plain old English.

For example, instead of saying something like "In-camera HDR feature takes three successive shots of a high-contrast scene and optimizes their exposure into a single image based on tonal values" you might want to say "In-camera HDR feature gives you great photos in high-contrast scenes." The feature is still there, the benefit is still there, but you have distilled it into plain words that your grandma would be able to make sense of. And even if someone doesn't understand the concept of contrast... they will still understand "great photos."

3. Too much fluff.
I think this is the flip side of the jargon coin. If you're going to really dumb it down, soon you're left without any real meaning and you're just spinning your wheels in sentimental copy that doesn't sell anything. Telling a potential customer that your lemonade "gives their tongue a totally new flavor experience that they've never had before" would be an example of this.

Instead, try telling them what makes your product worthwhile in relation to the features. In regards to above, perhaps "Our lemons are always picked at the peak of ripeness, providing unmatched flavor" would be better. (Of course, who would pick a lemon if it wasn't ripe anyway? You're disguising your fluff as something that customers can connect with, an advanced tactic I love to use.)

4. Meaningless comparisons. 
Consider claims like "With our new toaster oven, you'll be preparing meals twice as fast using less energy than before." On some level, this is probably a true statement, but unless we have some kind of qualifying wording, we get the bark without the bite. Savvy customers are going to see right through that.

Instead, back it up with something real. "Our new toaster oven cooks meals twice as fast as a standard oven. You also save energy because it heats up faster!" Here you've given customers something solid to compare it with (although it still isn't clear if we are talking gas or electric standard ovens, or exactly how much energy you might save) and it also looks more honest.

5. Spelling and grammar errors.
I can't say enough about using the correct grammar and spelling everything correctly. I know most companies do a fantastic job in this area (and staff members that don't do such a great job don't last long) but even one error makes me think twice about a potential business relationship. Even in the B2B sphere, companies that have spelling and grammar errors in their internal documents or product information immediately makes me wonder about the rest of their data (back to number 1!).

In the B2C arena, things like spell check and grammar check have rendered the easy mistakes obsolete, but there are plenty of obscure grammar rules that only a copyediting veteran will bother to fix. The nice thing is the easy availability of the internet as a consulting tool, so that you can research a turn of phrase you're uncertain with and ensure it's correct before anyone has to question it.